Season 3, episode 14: Sex and another city

“I feel like one of those freakin hairless dogs!” – Carrie, after her first Brazilian

SEX LA main.jpgOoh, Vince Vaughn! Except it’s not really Vince Vaughn. Or rather, it is Vince Vaughn, but he’s playing a character – unlike Matthew McConaughey, who in the last episode was playing himself. Confused? You might be.

The pals are somehow still in LA, milking Carrie’s freebie for all it’s worth, and Charlotte gets so scunnered with Trey and his refusal to discuss their sexless marriage that she hops on a plane to join them.

A week in the sunshine and a reunion with an old friend threaten to transform Miranda from angry and cynical to mellow and spiritual – until, that is, she realises that said friend has an eating disorder and an anger problem. It turns out nothing in LA is quite how it seems on the surface, just like Charlotte’s picture-perfect marriage back home.

Samantha decides to fake it with a knock-off Fendi bag, but ends up being escorted off the grounds of the Playboy Mansion after a run-in with a bunny. The groups’s attendance at a party at said mansion isn’t really explained – we should probably assume Miranda and Charlotte made their usual sensible/prudish objections before being roped in – but it’s worth it for Miranda’s deadpan reaction when they stumble into a grotto pool party: “Look at that – tit soup.”

Meanwhile, the character played by Vince Vaughn dupes Carrie into thinking he’s a big shot when he’s actually just a house-sitter – a house-sitter for Carrie Fisher, no less! The real Carrie Fisher, that is! Our own Carrie is simultaneously mortified and  star-struck when Princess Leia storms in on her in flagrante, and her attempt at writer-to-writer bonding is shut down in brutal fashion. “I have a child … I really can’t do this,” she mutters.

Fashion: Carrie’s pool party outfit is so spot on that I’m almost – almost – willing to forgive the ridiculously-sleeved blouse she wears on her fruitless Fake Fendi quest. As usual, Miranda opts for a needlessly frumpy ensemble, a mere episode after expressing a desire to ramp up her sex appeal. In other scenes Carrie rocks some amazing accessories – including a gold lightning-bolt necklace (teamed with a gold boob tube and white tuxedo jacket and shorts) and an outstanding pink metallic bum bag.

Carrie’s column: When it comes to bags, men and cities, is it really what’s outside that counts?

Puns: It’s been a while.

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Season 3, episode 13: Escape from New York

“My husband can’t be impotent – he’s gorgeous!” – Charlotte

sex-ny-mmFair play to Carrie, for once – she’s been dumped by Aidan but generously allows Charlotte’s sex-free honeymoon to be top of the pair’s brunch agenda after they exchange their latest bad news. “So, shall we get more coffee, or shall we get two guns and kills ourselves?” she quips first.

There’s not much time to commiserate, however, as Carrie and the other two are off to LA for a holiday she’s manged to blag because someone wants to make a movie based on her columns. Which is ironic, given that the second Sex and the City movie revolves around a blagged holiday.

If you’d asked me what I remembered happening in Carrie’s meeting with Matthew McConaughey I’d have said he propositioned her and she walked out, but I remembered it wrong. Yes, he does tell her he wants to sleep with her, but when he says it he at least appears to be channeling Mr Big – the role he fancies in Sex and the City: The Movie. Carrie doesn’t ditch the follow-up meeting because he’s sleazy, but because his idea of script development involves barking “What the fuck is Carrie’s problem?” as if unaware that she – Carrie – is a real person and not a character.

Little else of note happens in the episode. Miranda has a liberating moment on a bucking bronco, Samantha sleeps with a dildo-model-slash-poet, and Charlotte establishes (albeit not very scientifically) that Trey is capable of getting it up (hooray!), just not with her (ouch).

Two things really date this episode – the naff silky nighties and the fact that Charlotte’s wedding photos are physical prints.

Carrie’s column: Can you ever really escape your past?

Fashion: Samantha’s blue LA outfit is very Samantha and very silly. Carrie’s red get-up effectively communicates the message “I need to be single for a while”. But Samantha redeems herself by wearing a nice blouse to her dildo-distribution brunch.

Puns: None as such, but a lot of sniggering about dildos.