Season 3, episode 15: Hot child in the city

“I’m not the kind of girl who scoots to a guy’s terrace on the first date” – Carrie

S&TC child.jpgYouth is the theme of this episode, which begins by introducing us to Jenny Briar (Kat Dennings) – a super-bratty 13-year-old with millionaire parents who’s hiring Samantha to do PR for her Bat Mitzvah.

Eagled-eyed viewers will notice from the off that Jenny is sporting a familiar-looking necklace … and it turns out she’s a fan of Carrie’s columns as well as her style. “You are fucking fabulous,” she barks, as the women look on with a mixture of horror and confusion.

Meanwhile “haute cafeteria cuisine” is all the rage and accordingly the women are regressing to high-school behaviour. Miranda secures a date after some note-passing mischief by Carrie, and it’s all going swimmingly until she has train-track braces fitted.

A quest for shoe repairs brings Carrie into contact with the owner of a comic-book store, who woos her by sending a cartoon portrait of her to her apartment. “I don’t know what came over me, but I suddenly felt compelled to call and thank him,” says her voiceover, straining for a superhero reference. It would have been extremely rude not to, surely?

The dialogue continues in a similar vein when Charlotte goes online in search of solutions to Trey’s erectile dysfunction problem. “Ordinarily this was the kind of thing Charlotte would shy away from,” chirps Carrie in the background. “But since her marriage was shy of wood…” (groan)

Comic-book guy is hot, good fun and lives in a fabulous apartment overlooking Central Park. Unfortunately it’s not actually his apartment – it turns out he lives there with his parents. “Not sexy honey – dump him immediately!” declares Samantha, and it’s hard to disagree. After a brief honeymoon period during which Carrie observes live-in parents are like “servants you didn’t have to pay”, the relationship goes belly-up due to some predictably childish behaviour … but on the plus size, Carrie walks away with a big bag of super-strength pot.

Charlotte’s ongoing buzzkill of a storyline doesn’t have much to do with the episode theme, besides a sad nostalgia for the days when holding hands and a kiss on the cheek was enough and there was no googling of bionic penises. Her discovery of Trey wanking over Juggs does, however, lead the couple to a therapist who utters the immortal line: “A client rather whimsically dubbed his anus the chocolate starfish.” Trey’s response: “Are you quite sure you went to Yale?”

When pondering her column Carrie isn’t quite sure whether Jenny and pals are acting too old or she and her friends are acting too young. But when Samantha hears them talking about giving blowjobs to win the attention of boys she realises that for all their wealth and privilege they’ve been denied what really matters – a childhood.

Carrie’s column: Are we 34 going on 13?

Puns: (on potential cures for Trey’s erectile dysfunction) Ordinarily this was the kind of thing Charlotte would shy away from, but since her marriage was shy of wood…” (groan)


Season 1, Episode 12: Oh Come All Ye Faithful

“If I’d known he was Catholic I would never have gone out with him in the first place – they should make them wear a sign” – Miranda

ohcomeIT’S doubtful Miranda’s line would ever make it into a TV show produced in Scotland, but that doesn’t mean she’s wrong to feel uncomfortable about her boyfriend’s post-sex shower compulsion. She tries to ignore it but can’t help eventually pointing out the god-shaped elephant in the room, with disastrous results.

Carrie asserts that New Yorkers don’t enquire about the religious persuasion of their prospective dates, on the grounds that such a question is “too scary”. In the era of internet dating Miranda’s predicament is perhaps rarer, but ultimately the proof of the pudding is still in the fornicating.

Samantha goes to a jazz club alone, wearing a twinset. A suave fellow approaches and utters the line: “I couldn’t help but notice how you move to the music.” He gives her a bite of his donut and she simpers. What the hell? Is this a dream sequence? No, it’s a super-weird conversion to “believing in love”. But don’t worry – he has a 3″ penis, so it’s not going to last.

Charlotte has only a fleeting role in this episode, which is ironic given she goes on to convert to Judaism for a man. Two different psychics tell her she will never marry, which naturally comes as a disappointment given that she’s already bought her bridal lingerie.

Of course, the Big story continues to be Carrie and her insecurities, this time fuelled by his remark, after a Sunday-morning ambush, that his mother doesn’t need to meet “another girlfriend”. Parents don’t tend to have much of a role in Sex and the City – indeed, it only seems to occur to Carrie that Big might have a mother when she spots him accompanying her to church. I’m not sure the lady is ever seen or heard from again, but his hesitation about the introduction is the catalyst for the first of their many break-ups. As the series comes to an end Carrie mutters that she loves him and he just looks bemused, so that’s the end of that (for now).

Carrie’s column: Are relationships the religion of the nineties?

Fashion: Miranda’s church-going hat clashes with her ill-fitting dress and lipstick and Carrie also looks daft in a mismatched ensemble, but I suppose these outfits were intended to make them look a bit daft and out of place. There’s another meaningful mismatch with Carrie’s outfit for a doomed holiday – Parisian chic for a trip to the Caribbean? – but the combo of white off-the-shoulder top, navy high-waisted skirt and red mules looks fantastic on her.

Puns: Praying for some in season two.