“I’m not the kind of girl who scoots to a guy’s terrace on the first date” – Carrie
Youth is the theme of this episode, which begins by introducing us to Jenny Briar (Kat Dennings) – a super-bratty 13-year-old with millionaire parents who’s hiring Samantha to do PR for her Bat Mitzvah.
Eagled-eyed viewers will notice from the off that Jenny is sporting a familiar-looking necklace … and it turns out she’s a fan of Carrie’s columns as well as her style. “You are fucking fabulous,” she barks, as the women look on with a mixture of horror and confusion.
Meanwhile “haute cafeteria cuisine” is all the rage and accordingly the women are regressing to high-school behaviour. Miranda secures a date after some note-passing mischief by Carrie, and it’s all going swimmingly until she has train-track braces fitted.
A quest for shoe repairs brings Carrie into contact with the owner of a comic-book store, who woos her by sending a cartoon portrait of her to her apartment. “I don’t know what came over me, but I suddenly felt compelled to call and thank him,” says her voiceover, straining for a superhero reference. It would have been extremely rude not to, surely?
The dialogue continues in a similar vein when Charlotte goes online in search of solutions to Trey’s erectile dysfunction problem. “Ordinarily this was the kind of thing Charlotte would shy away from,” chirps Carrie in the background. “But since her marriage was shy of wood…” (groan)
Comic-book guy is hot, good fun and lives in a fabulous apartment overlooking Central Park. Unfortunately it’s not actually his apartment – it turns out he lives there with his parents. “Not sexy honey – dump him immediately!” declares Samantha, and it’s hard to disagree. After a brief honeymoon period during which Carrie observes live-in parents are like “servants you didn’t have to pay”, the relationship goes belly-up due to some predictably childish behaviour … but on the plus size, Carrie walks away with a big bag of super-strength pot.
Charlotte’s ongoing buzzkill of a storyline doesn’t have much to do with the episode theme, besides a sad nostalgia for the days when holding hands and a kiss on the cheek was enough and there was no googling of bionic penises. Her discovery of Trey wanking over Juggs does, however, lead the couple to a therapist who utters the immortal line: “A client rather whimsically dubbed his anus the chocolate starfish.” Trey’s response: “Are you quite sure you went to Yale?”
When pondering her column Carrie isn’t quite sure whether Jenny and pals are acting too old or she and her friends are acting too young. But when Samantha hears them talking about giving blowjobs to win the attention of boys she realises that for all their wealth and privilege they’ve been denied what really matters – a childhood.
Carrie’s column: Are we 34 going on 13?
Puns: (on potential cures for Trey’s erectile dysfunction) Ordinarily this was the kind of thing Charlotte would shy away from, but since her marriage was shy of wood…” (groan)